I have recently come to the cyber world where mothers have different groups based on their interests. There are breastfeeding, cloth diapering and baby-wearing groups and forums online just to name a few. All of which are formed with the same intention: to support, release frustrations, share and become an outlet to mothers, giving them the sense that others need them, relate to them and empathize in their experiences. Sadly, it has also become a venue for motherly bullies.
For those of us who count on our groups to help us with our parenting challenges, it has become a part of a lifestyle that is indispensable. These groups have been proven to build lasting friendships and worthwhile connections since full-time and working moms alike find it hard to make time for socializing and human interaction, thus making the cyber space so reachable and accessible. Especially for most that do get the proper responses from their parenting hiccups to the extreme troubles, it is such a dismay to witness some mothers who are such "war heroes" and "extremists" who use this channel to bully the inexperienced and the weak. How come it sounds like a war of the monster moms out there?
Mom1: How can I breastfeed my baby exclusively if I only pump 2 oz per session?
Mom2: Hi, I have the same experience. I have finally come to the realization that some mothers don't have that much milk so I am mix feeding my baby formula.
Mom3: NO FORMULA! YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER!
hahahahaha
Just kidding... but it does sound like that.
In fact, I heard from a friend of mine who got so stressed about not being able to breastfeed her baby because of these pressures. I, for example, would be devastated if I was in her situation and I wouldn't need another mother to tell me how I can't give the gift of breast milk to my daughter.
Problem is, we tend to forget that "Mother knows best." Not you mother, but the mother of the child. Each parenting is different as with political views and fashion senses. If a mom asks for advice, give them your piece for reference and consideration instead of imposing your beliefs and thoughts onto them making them feel inadequate and frustrated. No mother deserves to feel that way since we all do our best for our children.
Information dissemination is important so do site your sources and be open-minded enough that not all sources are factual.
RESPECT each and everyone's opinions and agree to disagree. After all, you won't die if her baby isn't using cloth diapers or if she carries her baby facing out.
With the new laws about cyber crime in the Philippines, (I don't know what it is actually but I know it has something to this effect), we must all be wary of our cyber etiquettes and remember that being a mother is one of the most difficult job description in the world. Each mother strives to be the best and it is inhumane to show them that they aren't doing their job well.
BOTTOM LINE, I find my groups so helpful and great that I hope these motherly bullies would just stop.
For those of us who count on our groups to help us with our parenting challenges, it has become a part of a lifestyle that is indispensable. These groups have been proven to build lasting friendships and worthwhile connections since full-time and working moms alike find it hard to make time for socializing and human interaction, thus making the cyber space so reachable and accessible. Especially for most that do get the proper responses from their parenting hiccups to the extreme troubles, it is such a dismay to witness some mothers who are such "war heroes" and "extremists" who use this channel to bully the inexperienced and the weak. How come it sounds like a war of the monster moms out there?
Mom1: How can I breastfeed my baby exclusively if I only pump 2 oz per session?
Mom2: Hi, I have the same experience. I have finally come to the realization that some mothers don't have that much milk so I am mix feeding my baby formula.
Mom3: NO FORMULA! YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER!
hahahahaha
Just kidding... but it does sound like that.
In fact, I heard from a friend of mine who got so stressed about not being able to breastfeed her baby because of these pressures. I, for example, would be devastated if I was in her situation and I wouldn't need another mother to tell me how I can't give the gift of breast milk to my daughter.
Problem is, we tend to forget that "Mother knows best." Not you mother, but the mother of the child. Each parenting is different as with political views and fashion senses. If a mom asks for advice, give them your piece for reference and consideration instead of imposing your beliefs and thoughts onto them making them feel inadequate and frustrated. No mother deserves to feel that way since we all do our best for our children.
Information dissemination is important so do site your sources and be open-minded enough that not all sources are factual.
RESPECT each and everyone's opinions and agree to disagree. After all, you won't die if her baby isn't using cloth diapers or if she carries her baby facing out.
With the new laws about cyber crime in the Philippines, (I don't know what it is actually but I know it has something to this effect), we must all be wary of our cyber etiquettes and remember that being a mother is one of the most difficult job description in the world. Each mother strives to be the best and it is inhumane to show them that they aren't doing their job well.
BOTTOM LINE, I find my groups so helpful and great that I hope these motherly bullies would just stop.
This is so realistic. I somehow encountered this but I'm not exactly the victim. And me, too, I'm happy to the mommy group I belong to. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd this is what I posted in my own blog relevant to what you have here:
http://www.bebengisms.blogspot.com/2012/10/thoughtful-tuesday-parenting-is-not.html
Bebengisms
Hi! I read your post and shared it to my mommy group as well. I hope more moms would just focus on mothering their children and stop trying to mother other mothers hahaha!
ReplyDelete